Let me start this off with a confession: I am a terrible cook. We’re not talking about your run-of-the-mill bad. We’re talking “lighting the kitchen on fire is practically a weekly event” bad. We’re talking smoke alarms on the daily. We’re talking a wartime mentality.
Thankfully, my family doesn’t seem to have inherited this same questionable gene. Lately, one particular dish my mom makes every Christmas has been calling my name, so I decided it was finally time to give it a try myself. She promised me it would be “as easy as it is delicious,” so today’s the day…
The day I attempt to make a coffee cake. *dramatic music plays in the distance*
And if I can manage to make this without summoning the fire department or sacrificing an innocent mixing bowl, then anyone can do it. Even you – yeah, you – fellow kitchen disaster reader.
Getting Started: Mixing the Thing with the Other Thing
The adventure started as all my cooking attempts do: with a hopeful heart and a deep sense of impending doom. Will I make it out alive? Maybe. Will the coffee cake make it out alive? Also maybe. Armed with a recipe that promised “simple” and “easy,” I rolled up my sleeves and prepared for battle.
Things took a chaotic turn when I dropped an egg on the floor (RIP, little buddy) while trying to remember my mixing mantra. Do I wet the drys? Dry the wets? How do you even dry the wets?!
I also may have added too much sugar, but by some miracle I managed to get the batter into the oven without complete catastrophe.
The Moment of Truth
After pacing the kitchen for 45 minutes, the timer finally beeped, and I opened the oven door with the kind of suspense usually reserved for horror movies. To my utter shock, what emerged was a beautifully golden, perfectly risen coffee cake. I pinched myself, because clearly I was dreaming.
It smelled heavenly: warm, buttery, and with just the right amount of cinnamon swirl goodness. I almost cried tears of joy (and relief) as I set it on the counter to cool. And when I sliced into it and took a bite? Absolute perfection. No one would ever know the trauma and struggles that had gone into creating this masterpiece.
The Foolproof Recipe for Kitchen Disasters Like Me
So here it is: the easiest, most forgiving coffee cake recipe you’ll ever make. If I can do it, you really can. Trust me on this one.
Ingredients:
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2 cups all-purpose flour
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1 cup brown sugar
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1 cup milk
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2 large eggs
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1 tablespoon baking powder
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1 teaspoon vanilla extract
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A pinch of salt
For the Cinnamon Topping:
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1/2 cup brown sugar
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2 tablespoons ground cinnamon
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1/4 cup melted butter
Directions:
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Preheat your oven to 350°F (175°C). Grease a 9x13-inch baking dish with butter (or anything will work, really, but I’m always team #addmorebutter)
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In a large mixing bowl, combine the flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt. Stir until well mixed.
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In a SEPARATE BOWL (yes, you’ll need to wash two at the end of this) mix all the wet stuff: eggs, milk, vanilla.
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Combine it all into the same bowl and mix until smooth. It should resemble cake batter.
**This is where the “do I wet the drys or dry the wets” panic happened
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Pour the batter into your baking dish. Take a moment to appreciate that you made it this far.
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In a separate bowl, combine the brown sugar and cinnamon for the topping. Drizzle the melted butter into the mix and stir until it looks like sand.
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Spoon the cinnamon mixture over the batter and use a knife to swirl it in
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Bake for 30-35 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean (cook trick my mom taught me!)
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Let it cool before serving
A Happy Ending (Finally)
So there you have it: a coffee cake recipe that’s officially Sydney-proof. It’s buttery, cinnamon-y, and perfect with a cup of Cardinal Blend. And best of all, no one will ever know the battle you fought to make it. Just smile and accept the compliments. You earned them.
